Jon Carpenter is a voice artist and adjunct college professor living and working in Richmond, VA. He likes baseball, radio, and his cat. These are some of his thoughts.

Johnny Carp

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Opening Day!

Since I haven’t posted anything in five months, I have decided to celebrate my return to the blog by posting my predictions for this upcoming baseball season.  While not anything super exciting, it does count as content!  It is also an excuse to post one of my favorite opening day pictures.

(Image from

On to the picks…

NL East Champions: Washington Nationals (much to my chagrin)

NL Central Champions: Cincinnati Reds

NL West Champions: San Fransisco Giants

NL Wild Card 1: Atlanta Braves

NL Wild Card 2: Los Angeles Dodgers

NL Wild Card Champion: Atlanta Braves!

NLDS: Reds over Braves; Nationals over Giants

National League Champions: Cincinnati Reds!

AL East Champions: Toronto Blue Jays

AL Central Champions: Detroit Tigers

AL West Champions: Oakland Athletics

AL Wild Card 1: Los Angeles Angels

AL Wild Card 2: Cleveland Indians (It is a stretch, but it could happen!)

AL Wild Card Champion: LA Angels

ALDS: Angels over A’s; Tigers over Blue Jays

American League Champions: Detroit Tigers

WORLD SERIES: Cincinnati Reds in six!

I am more than likely wrong, but it is something.

Week in Review

Yet another banner week at Carp Manor, one that is worthy of a recap.

Let’s start with Saturday

12:45 AM: While brushing my teeth, I noticed hundreds of tiny brown mystery bugs crawling on my toilet paper rolls in the bathroom.

12:00 PM: After leaving Mom and Dad’s because I was freaking out about the bugs, I contacted the apartment office and let them know the problem.  Sadly they couldn’t really do much at the time since pest control isn’t open on weekends.  After an hour of vacuuming and freaking out, I go back to Mom and Dad’s.

7:00 PM: Come home to find a thing of bug spray sitting in front of my door.

7:30 PM: Sprayed the hell out of the bathroom.

Shortly after that, I realized that Askew had been hanging in the bathroom all day on Friday with the bugs.  Continued research to find out the problem and if they would hurt Askew.

Avoided the bathroom for the rest of the night.  Satisfied that they weren’t bed bugs or fleas.


1:00 AM: Tried to go to bed…didn’t sleep.

1:00 PM: Discovered bugs in hall by the bathroom…they are migrating.

Continued research…freaked out about the possibility of Carpet Beetle Larvae.  If that were the case, it could have been a very expensive and horrible challenge to get rid of them.


12:30 AM: Tried to go to bed…too freaked to sleep.

7:00 AM: Started to work, still freaked and still trying to avoid the bathroom.

10:00 AM: Hear from the office that the Orkin Man will be here first thing Tuesday.

11:30 AM: Askew throws up

1:00 PM: Askew throws up again…this time just water.  Concerned about the bugs and spray or worse.  Make a vet appointment.

5:00 PM: Dropped $148 at the vet to make sure Askew was okay…she seemed to be.

Still avoiding bathroom except for shower and emergencies.


12:00 AM: Tried to sleep…still nothing.  Way too freaked about the unknown bugs and Askew

7:30 AM: Found bugs in the kitchen…not good.

(I’ll fast forward from here.)

1:00 PM: Orkin finally shows up.  First thing for him is way different that first thing for me.  I tell him how happy I am to see him because the unknown was driving me crazy.  He sees the bugs, says “I’ve never seen anything like this before.  I have no idea what those are.”  He tells me he will take a sample and return on Thursday.  I tell the office what the spray jockey said, and that I couldn’t make it until Thursday.  She calls for a second opinion, but they can’t do anything until Wednesday.

6:00 PM: Return to the airwaves at WVCW and talk about bugs.

7:00 PM: Class begins a new section.  It goes well enough, though I’m not optimistic after the way the rest of the week went with the students and their assignment.


12:00 AM: Finally made it to sleep.  Not because I was any less freaked out, I just was exhausted.

6:45 AM: Escaped the apartment and went to work.

No word from the office all day…I began to get concerned.

4:30 PM: Asked the office if they heard anything.  Was told that they think it is Booklice.

6:00 PM: Askew throws up her tuna, but keeps the rest down.

At some point I discover that Comcast charged me twice for my cable.  They also charged two amounts that were not my bill.


12:30 AM: With an idea of what I’m up against I go to sleep.

I made an appointment for Askew to get a bath on Saturday just in case she had bugs on her.

3:00 PM: Orkin returned with more spray and a plan.  Both companies agreed on booklice.

Askew and I had to leave for him to spray.  I finished working by the pool.  It was actually nice.  Askew sat on the table outside with me (in her crate). 

4:00 PM: Askew and I go to Petco while the spray dries.

The plan is to freeze my apartment while I am on vacation.  That means I had to get Askew’s pet sitter to watch Askew at her house.  Luckily she agreed and decided to take Askew on Saturday straight from her bath.

I also had to call and fight Comcast to get the mystery $174 deduction returned.  While they took the money immediately, it will take a week to get it back.  Comcastic!


Aside from bugs, the day was going okay until the Braves game.  The Braves played like crap and deserved to lose, but the terrible infield fly rule call in the eighth took away any chance they had left.  As a loyal fan, I was livid.


Askew went to the groomer.  My mom is friends with the groomer’s mother so we were told Askew would get a discount.  She did in August for her bath and shave when Mom took her in while I moved, but today nothing.  In fact, it cost more for a bath only than the whole shave/bath combo in August.  Bitter.

She is at the pet sitter’s now and it is kind of quiet and lonely here. 

Finally, while cleaning the house to help make it even less bug friendly, I discovered what appeared to be thousands of bugs on the bathroom floor next to the container that holds the cat litter.  They appeared to be dead, but I’m not taking any chances…so I sprayed the hell out of them with bug spray.  Dead or not, I hate these little bastards.

There you have it.  While not anywhere near the worst week of my life it certainly was costly and stressful.  At one point I was so stressed about the bugs that I couldn’t eat, sleep, and I felt like I was going to lose my mind.  It was during these points where Florida seemed like it wasn’t going to be a possibility, but I think I am going to make it!  That said, there are still two days left for something else to go wrong.  

Here’s hoping they don’t.

I may post some photos or other stuff from Florida…probably won’t.